John Marshall: Eat All That You Can Eat: New War Movies for Today’s Overweight Army

According to The New York Times, excess weight is the leading reason the Army rejects potential recruits.

Earlier this year, a group of retired generals and admirals released a report called “Too Fat to Fight.” (Making Soldiers Fit to Fight, Without the Situps)

Exercise and diet have not worked and extreme measures, such as Jillian Michaels or Geneen Roth, are either too expensive or already booked on Oprah.

Also disturbing is the fact that the movie, like the average soldier’s waistline, is expanding.

Soon there will be as many refreshments in the genre as there are in the theater.

Here are some upcoming films:

A Fridge Too Far
Inglorious Bratwerst
All Quiet on the Western Omelet
Feeding Private Ryan
Rambloat
Courage Under Fries
A Bag O’Chips Now
Kelly’s Hero Sandwiches
Sergeant Fork
The Beer Hunter
Force 10 From Provolone

And this one coming to a theater of operations near you:

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Special thanks to L.A.-based improv guru and performer Amy Seeley (www.amycomedy.com), for her contributions to this piece.

Special thanks to N.Y.-based TV art director Todd Rutt for the poster. Further examples of Todd’s work can be seen at www.tyrannosaurusrocks.com.

Read more: Military, Army, Obesity, War Movies, Comedy News

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